True Love? If Only
by twilight-archer
Summary: What if Hermione and Ron decided they'd put up with Malfoy for long enough? What if they decide pay-back is too long in coming? What if... Harry doesn't approve! Hilarity, cat-fights and Snape-on-tranquilizers ensues! DH SLASH


Hiya! First ficcie here, hope you enjoy! Thanks so much for helping write this chapter, Llama!!! Luv ya! :p

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Repeat: I do not own Harry Potter.

Harry Potter waltzed into the Great Hall, practically floating with barely-contained glee and evil intent. He was back for seventh-year and this was one year Malfoy would not screw up. In fact, if everything went according to plan, Malfoy wouldn't even be looking in the Golden Trio's direction for a long, long time. Sidling up behind the blonde git, Harry leant in till his lips almost brushed Malfoy's ear and purred, "Why hello there, Malfoy.", drawling seductively. Slowly, as if in a trance, the Slytherin turned his head and stared right into Harry's bright green eyes.

"Oh. It's you, Harry." Harry stumbled back in confusion. That was not supposed to happen! Sure, Malfoy could've cursed him, yelled at him or just punched him in the face but not stand there with big doe eyes calling him Harry. His plan was in jeopardy. Yes, it was simple, brainless and immature to begin with, but Harry had held onto the belief that it would work. He would sidle up to Malfoy and hit on him. Malfoy would freak out and avoid the Golden Trio for the rest of the year.

Funny how plans never make a smooth transition from paper to real-life. Red danger signals started flashing in Harry's mind. _Danger! Danger! Abort mission! Possibly unstable archrival in close quarters!_

Taking his mind's advice, Harry started backing away from Malfoy very slowly. It would not do to startle him, especially as Malfoy already showed every sign of being extremely disturbed. Said Malfoy widened his eyes in something very close to panic and cried, "Wait! Harry, don't go!". Harry backed away faster. A very dark thought was niggling in the back of Harry's mind. Was Malfoy using his own plan of attack against him, feigning romantic interest in order to permanently damage Harry's sanity? Because it was working.

A whoop sounded from the Gryffindor side of the still, staring hall. "It worked!!! The spell worked! Mione, you're the best!" All heads turned to see a freckled face split wide open in a maniacal grin. "Malfoy's fallen for Harry!" Harry gaped at his so-called 'best-friend'.

"WTF?!! RON!!! ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT MALFOY LOVES ME NOW?! AND YOU HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT?!!" Hermione appeared.

"Well, he didn't have much to do with it, to be sure. More like, I bury myself elbow deep in dusty tomes and he hovers around complaining." Unnoticed by Harry, Malfoy moved behind him and wrapped the brunette up in his arms, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"AARGH!!! LET GO OF ME!!!" shrieked Harry.

"But Harry, it's comfortable like this…" whined Draco childishly. He swung the paralyzed Gryffindor around and buried his head into his neck. A crowd had gathered around them and gasps filled the hall.

"WHAT IS THIS?" A terrifying voice silenced the mob. Snape, clad in his usual aloof and scowling demeanor, strode into the midst of the group and stopped in front of the now struggling Harry and insistent Draco who seemed to be hell-bent on hugging the former to an early demise.

Snape took in the sight before him and sneered extra-hard to hide his utter bewilderment. "Mr. Malfoy, care to explain why you have your arms around Potter?" Draco immediately clutched Harry tighter (if it was possible) and growled threateningly at the Potions professor.

"MINE!!!" Harry, now fighting to breathe, flushed scarlet and renewed his struggle to escape.

"I AM NOT YOURS! I NEVER WAS AND I NEVER WILL BE!!!" Draco froze and all the H/D fangirls cried out in protest. This does not include co-author of this chapter, a disgruntled Llama who cannot believe she's actually helping write this slashtastic fic. He looked up at Harry in disbelief and more than a little pain. "Harry?" Like a particularly emotional, rejected girl, Draco began sobbing and pushed the Gryffindor towards Snape before dashing off to the toilets in anguish. All eyes followed him out and saw the petite blonde girl in the entrance to the Great Hall. Her blue eyes glared at Hermione who was doubled over in hysterics. If looks could kill…

"GRANGER!" Parkinson screamed. "What did you do to him?!"

"Like he didn't deserve it," retorted Hermione, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "For six years, he's blackmailed, plotted against, pranked and manipulated us. It's about time we got even. Malfoy's completely at our mercy now that he's infatuated with Harry. It's perfect!"

"You little bitch!" Pansy stormed up to the open-mouthed Gryffindor and slapped her with all her might. Hermione was speechless but soon looked daggers at the pureblood witch.

"You will pay for that."

"Bring it on."

The two girls faced up and circled each other warily. Without warning, they pounced, tugging hair, raking nails, tearing clothes, scratching, biting, wrestling. Professor Snape took one glance at the scene before him with wide eyes and began inching out of the hall. It was his job, he knew, to stop them and install order and discipline. But there were some things in this world too terrifying to contemplate and two rabid harpies having an all-out cat fight was one of them. Snape hauled his yellow ass outta there!

With everyone rapt in morbid fascination at the fighting rivals, Harry found it easy enough to slip out unnoticed as well. Followed by screeches of: "SHIT! My face! My beautiful face!" (which he sincerely hoped didn't come from Hermione) and "You little skank/bitch/whore/callgirl/slut/arse-banger!!!", he stumbled down the dark corridor, mind spinning in a whirlwind of confusion. How could Hermione and Ron do this? Playing with someone's feelings was the lowest of the low. In fact, it was something he'd expect Malfoy to do.

_Malfoy…_ Harry gritted his teeth as he thought about the blonde. He was insufferable, cold, cruel, annoying, not to mention bloody gorgeous and had gone out of his way to make Harry, Ron and Hermione's lives miserable. But the way he had looked at Harry when he called him by his first name… so differently to how he usually looked at him. The smirk was gone and the wall in his stormy blue eyes too. He was practically laid bare, well, not for a normal person but this is Malfoy, y'all! And when Harry had yelled at him… Pangs of guilt were settling in fast, clearing Harry's confusion. A spell, had Hermione said? Well, he would go see about that, and comfort the Slytherin at the same time. _Yes, _Harry rationalised. _I'm just going to see if it's really true. Not like I'm really worried about D-Malfoy._ Harry steadfastly ignored his near-slip. Now… where'd that prick go?

Review, review, review!!! See that little blue button? The one jumping up and down begging to be clicked on? The button is your friend! People like me thrive on reviews… :D


End file.
